Tla Logo

Inclusivity matters in lingerie too!
Enter your email below to discover our Top 20 Lingerie Brands (and get a free chapter of my book!):

We promise to never send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.

Looking for the Perfect Lingerie Guide? Signed Copies of In Intimate Detail are Now Available!

Order Your Copy Today!

Signed copies of In Intimate Detail Are Still Available! Click here to buy!

Money Can't Buy Happiness, But It Can Buy Lingerie

Disclosure: This blog post contains affiliate links.

If asked the age-old adage, "Can money buy happiness?" chances are you would already know the answer is, "No," broadly speaking. You've probably seen articles about shared on Facebook and of course the complete answer is much more nuanced... So how does that apply to daily life, and to lingerie?

Dita Von Teese "Madam X"  Soft Bra and High Waist Brief | Model: Victoria Dagger | Photo © Max Johnson

Dita Von Teese "Madam X" Soft Bra and High Waist Brief | Model: Victoria Dagger | Photo © Max Johnson

Lingerie straddles the line between "material possession" and "experience." The studies have shown that money spent on experiences is, in happiness terms, better spent than money used to buy physical items. Of course lingerie technically falls into the category of "stuff," but wearing and hopefully buying lingerie does create an experience. The interaction with a boutique staff or online shopping cart is an experience (something that all business owners should try to keep in mind), and unwrapping a new purchase is also an experience. Lingerie given or received as a gift also creates a shared experience, which adds depth to its pleasure and increases the longevity of the happiness created. Actually, money given to or spent on other people creates more happiness than spending on oneself. So next time you see that bright yellow designer knicker that would be perfect for your best friend on sale, go for the surprise gift... you'll both be happier for it.

Model: Victoria Dagger | Photo © Chris Gaede

Longline bra from H&M | Model: Victoria Dagger | Photo © Chris Gaede

As for wearing lingerie, there are two main ways in which I think it can create an experience. First, there's the design maxim that good design is invisible. Like having a bad mattress or couch, having bad lingerie - panties that creep up, bras that cut into your shoulders to the point of causing numbness down your arms - creates a negative experience, day in, day out. By investing in quality and comfort for your basics, you create an experience that enables you to go through your day with a higher level of function and focus.

Dark Garden "Sweetheart" corset | Model: Dwoira Galilea | Photo © Joel Aron

Dark Garden "Sweetheart" corset | Model: Dwoira Galilea | Photo © Joel Aron

On the other end of the spectrum is luxury lingerie, which may be designed to create an experience through physical sensation. Whether it's the soft flow of a silk robe that whispers with each movement... the tingle of Made by Niki's string collection brushing against your bare skin... the heightened awareness of your body and breath from a tightlaced corset... or lubed-up latex thigh highs as you glide them onto your legs... the act of putting on and wearing luxury lingerie is unlike wearing "normal" clothing. And once it's on, you have the opportunity to cement the experience by doing something special, whether you take yourself out to the fancy craft cocktail bar you've always wanted to try, or have a romantic tryst. In order for this to be effective, the luxury has to stay special, creating a feeling of mindfulness each time your special pieces are worn. Don't allow the luxury to turn mundane. As cliché as it is, I like to occasionally remind myself of my nice things, and take a moment to appreciate them.

Made by Niki bra & brief set, latex stockings by Lust Designs | Model: Victoria Dagger | Photo © Max Johnson

Made by Niki bra & brief set, latex stockings by Lust Designs | Model: Victoria Dagger | Photo © Max Johnson

As you can see, neither of those principles suggests that you should impulsively buy all the lingerie that catches your eye, nor should you have a vast horde of luxury or cheap lingerie. And of course, you definitely don't want to get into the habit of buying things you truly can't afford! But by allowing yourself, or gifting to a loved one, a carefully curated selection of pieces, yes, I think money can buy a little piece of happiness.

Which pieces from your personal lingerie collection make you the happiest? Do they have a story that accompanies them?

Marianne Faulkner

Marianne Faulkner is the designer of Pop Antique, a clothing and corsetry line specializing in sustainable materials and comfortable curves. She is based in San Francisco where she earned her MFA in fashion design at the Academy of Art University, and has been a columnist at The Lingerie Addict since 2011.

5 Comments on this post

  1. Trish says:

    There’s nothing like coming home from a long day at work and putting on silk pajamas or a warm fuzzy robe. And wearing something that truly fits and doesn’t irritate means a lot.

  2. Being a Cross Dresser I of course really don’t need lingerie but I still love it. I don’t have all that many pieces but the ones I love the best are the ones I was able to muster up the courage and buy without any help from my wife.

  3. anon says:

    You are correct- luxury IS an experience; on the other hand – good basics make the experience of the everyday a little bit nicer.

  4. wrenna says:

    I love this post. I have a Timpa mesh bra that fits like a dream and disappears under white t-shirts that definitely brings me happiness. I have two sets of panties to go with it and always think about doubling up my investment. I also have more expensive lingerie that fits perfectly and looks and feels completely decadent, from Fleur of England and Myla. It actually is gorgeous, but I am more reluctant to wear it. I hit it closer to home with the Yasmin Eslami lingerie that I find both sexy and pretty and is part of my weekly wardrobe.

  5. Wytch says:

    I have a grey and gold Stella Mccartney bra that I purchased on impulse once when I was having a particularly awful day and have never regretted it. It ate my entire clothing budget for a month, but it made me feel beautiful and sophisticated and fit like a dream. It still gives me a mood boost to bring it out on special occasions.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.