In honor of Bettie Page’s birthday, Secrets in Lace is taking 30% off the bra, panty, and girdle in their Bettie Page Shape Collection with code BPSHAPE thru Saturday, April 28th, at Midnight EST. If you’ve been eyeballing this retro style lingerie for awhile, now is the perfect time to pick it up.
Today, April 24th, is National Lingerie Day, a holiday I honestly knew nothing about until roughly 11 p.m. last night. But since I am a lingerie blogger, I feel like I should do something appropriate for the day, so I thought I’d write a post about why I started blogging and why lingerie matters and all that other meta-stuff I never really talk about here.
Though it doesn’t sound particularly empowering, I started lingerie blogging because of a guy. It was my first real, adult relationship,and after a steady diet of Victoria’s Secret commercials telling me how much guys thought lingerie was sexy, I decided to buy a set to impress him. The only problem? I had no idea how to buy lingerie. None.
I researched for several hours that first day, looking for lingerie reviews and bra fitting advice and information on how to choose a garter belt, and ending up pretty much empty handed. I mean, there were articles out there, but most of them either copied the exact same information I’d seen in a dozen other places or seemed more concerned with telling me how AWESOME!™ everything was so I’d buy it from their store instead of giving me an honest review.
But I eventually made my decisions and the first three stores I purchased from were La Magia (now specializing in retro swimwear as For Luna), Girdlebound, and Bare Necessities. The first three pieces of lingerie I purchased (from the same stores) were the Kiss Me Deadly Sirena set, the Rago Lacette Corsolette, and the Falke Lunelle Thigh Highs.
Looking back, I was extremely lucky because I happened to buy three very well made brands from three stores with very good customer service. It’s no exaggeration to say that had my first few experiences been terrible, I may have given up on lingerie entirely (which is part of why I’m so irritated by shoddy customer service today…but that’s for another blog post).
Even though things didn’t work out with that particular guy, I found that I was still interested in lingerie. I loved the way it made me feel. The lace, the nylon, the satin…I enjoyed splurging on these delicate bits of fabric that felt so luxurious against my skin.
I’m not (and probably never will be) able to afford a designer wardrobe, but lingerie made me feel like I could have a taste of the fashionable life. There were so many styles in so many colors, and I could upgrade my outfits with new pair of fashion tights or a lace trimmed vintage slip for far, far less than money a new dress or jacket might cost. I admit, I went a little lingerie crazy those first couple of years, but I wore many of those pieces until they fell to, well, pieces.
But even more than that, lingerie changed the way I felt about myself. It’s hard to describe exactly what I mean, but I’ll try. When a lot of sites talk about lingerie, they focus on how it makes you look to others. But lingerie is more than just a prelude to sex or way to avoid pantylines. Lingerie is one of the ultimate forms of self-expression.
We don’t always get to present the truest image of ourselves to the outside world. Maybe you’re having a bad hair day or an acne breakout or you have to wear a uniform to work or you’re kitted out in sweats because you’re chasing a toddler or *insert your own scenario here*. But lingerie lets you express who you really are, no matter what you may have to wear on top. And since we’re multidimensional human beings, lingerie lets you express multiple aspects of your personality, even when they don’t always fit with what you need to project to the outside world.
Feeling like a pin-up queen today? Rock those suspender straps. In more erotic mood instead? A 1/4 cup bra and ouvert panty is just the thing. Want to keep things simple? Hello there t-shirt bra and brief. Romantic? A lace trimmed cami and tap pant will do the trick. And the list goes on.
In a world where so many assumptions are made about who and what you are based on the outside, lingerie is a refuge for who you are on the inside. Who you are in all your changing, wonderful, and complex glory.
So…Happy National Lingerie Day. Remember to enjoy those bras and panties. I know I will.
Edit: Several bloggers have written to me to ask if they could use the Body Snark Free Zone image on their own sites, and the answer is yes! To get an easily embeddable copy of the image, just go you here: So You Want to Make Your Website a Body Snark Free Zone
Today’s blog post has been four months in the making, pretty much ever since the last article I wrote on body image and body snark back in December. Making a stand on something is always scary, because you never know how people will react. But when something’s been on my mind for a couple hundred days…well, then maybe that means it’s time to say it out loud.
From the very beginning, I’ve wanted The Lingerie Addict to be a place women could find information about lingerie that’s relevant and accessible to them. I truly believe every woman – no matter her size, age, or budget – deserves gorgeous lingerie, and I want my readers to feel that when they visit.
But lately I’ve learned that being relevant and accessible goes beyond just prices and brands and cup sizes. It also means cultivating a tone on the blog that’s welcoming and inviting. It’s so important to me that The Lingerie Addict is a blog every woman can feel comfortable and safe visiting. And even though my About Page talks about my commitment to inclusivity and polite discourse, I’ve not really been explicit about what that means. And so here it is:
Starting today, The Lingerie Addict is a body snark free zone.
This new direction, if you want to call it that, isn’t a decision I made lightly. I always want people to feel like they’re welcome to comment, even if they disagree with me, but body snark goes beyond a simple difference of opinion and into something that I really cannot, in good conscience, tolerate.
Body snark is bullying.
I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that bullying takes many forms, from physical assault to threats and intimidation to social isolation, and some of you reading this may wonder if bullying is too strong a word to use for body snark. But I believe that intentionally making people feel small and awful and ashamed because they have the audacity to be born with a body type you don’t like (in other words, insulting people just for existing) is bullying. And that’s something The Lingerie Addict cannot and will not support, even in a passive way.
Women come in a range of shapes and sizes, and while you don’t have to think they’re all beautiful (people are entitled to their personal preferences after all), this current climate of listing all the ways women’s bodies are ugly and deficient (too much cellulite, too thin, too fat, too many wrinkles, too old, too light, too dark, etc.) is one I can’t get behind.
No one’s body is “wrong” and in need of changing (or hiding) simply because you don’t like it.
Supporting positive body image doesn’t inquire insults. Nor does wanting more diversity in the kinds of bodies shown in the media make putting down someone else’s body type okay. Every woman is living in a world where there are endless articles about how to make your body “better” and next to none about how to love it just the way it is.
I don’t know how this new policy is going to go over. And I’ve prepared myself for backlash if it happens. But I will say that if you feel like our new “no body snark” policy is unfair or like it’s censorship or like you just can’t enjoy The Lingerie Addict anymore because of it…well, we’re probably not the blog for you, and I’m okay with that.
What do you think about us being a body snark free blog? I welcome your thoughts in the comments.
- 25% off at Bare Necessities with code FRIEND2012 (ends 4/23/12)
- La Perla Lingerie on sale in the Wedding Shop on Gilt Groupe
- Up to 50% off Stella McCartney lingerie at Fox & Rose
- Up to 70% off at the ASOS midseason sale
- Select items 50% off at Dottie’s Delights
- All cotton sleepwear on sale at Julianna Rae (ends 4/24/12)
- Free delivery at Figleaves with code FREE (ends 4/24/12)
- Select corsets on sale at Louise Black
- 20% off organic cotton at Only Hearts with code ORGANIC
- 30% off at Butterfly Collection with code MID3012 (ends 4/29/12)
Gerbe just sent over their new 2012/2013 lookbook, and I’m smitten. As some of you know, I started blogging as Stockings Addict, so hosiery will always hold a special place in my heart, and I love how Gerbe constantly comes out with new patterns, colors, and designs every season. Below are a few of my favorites. The new styles will be available starting July 1st.