Posts in category "guest writers"

Learning to Love My Small Bust: The Size Complex of a Petite Woman

Image via Meg At Midnight

Dana Givens is editor of My Little Vixen, a provocative fashion and sex blog dedicated all things lingerie. She is also is a freelance fashion and beauty writer with numerous online publications.

As an avid lover of all things lingerie, I love the feeling of wearing a sexy set of undergarments that hugs my shape and the pretty little detailing that make that perfect bra stand out. However no matter how beautiful my lingerie was, every time I look in the mirror my focus always fall on my tiny breasts. I can’t help but be self-conscious of their little size. I’ve always admired women with shapely bodies and envious of their supple cleavage because it was something I never had. In my mind, having full bust was a sign of femininity. I wanted to feel more like a woman but instead I felt trapped in a little girl’s body.

Between the pictures of glossy fashion campaigns and gorgeous celebrities under the spotlight, the average woman will always feel pressured to emulate what is perceived as the ‘perfect body’. As someone with a petite frame, I’m not gifted with full busty set of breasts; they are a size 34A and they’re not exactly the ideal when it comes to size. I’ve probably heard every flat-chest joke in the book now and while I try to block out the negativity, the constant scrutiny from my peers can still bother me. The worst part was when I did speak out, it always seemed like my cries fell on deaf ears. Being this size all my life made me learn that it was considered ‘acceptable’ by most people to pick on a smaller woman like myself but heaven forbid I say anything against a larger woman. Like most women my size, I have a slight complex when it comes to my small chest and have even considered getting plastic surgery to take care of the problem. I’ve come along when it comes to loving my body and finding lingerie that is designed for petite women was key in my journey.

Image via Huit

While lingerie can be a great confidence booster when it comes accepting your curves, petite women often have a problem with finding the right bra that flatters their small shape. It is important to find that bra give your bust shape with a peek of cleavage. Lingerie brands like Meg at Midnight, Huit, and the Little Bra Company specialize for women with a small chest. The specialty undergarments are a niche market just like their full-figure counterparts for women that often feel neglected from brands that offer what they consider ‘average’ sizes. It is important to find that brand that makes you feel best instead of feeling inadequate.

When I finally started to take the initiative and find bras that were better suited for women like myself instead of the traditional mass-market names, I started to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I started to discover more and more brands that made me feel less self-conscious of the size of my breasts and more on creating a positive body image for myself. I could finally shop for lingerie and not feel embarrassed when it came to saying what bra size I was. It was refreshing to know there was a place for me amongst the lacy undergarments I’ve come to love so much.

Image via The Little Bra Company

Even though I had discovered lingerie that caters to petite women like myself, it was only the first step when it came to overcoming my size complex. The biggest obstacle was being about to look in the mirror and say “You know what, I’m fine with my size”. I may not have the bouncy full breasts of my dreams but I had eventually learned to say I’m comfortable with my size. While I still may look at a woman with C-cup boobs in envy, I simply learned that I needed to accept my small curves. Maybe one day I will be the size I desire or maybe I’ll forever be the petite woman with small boobs. Despite the ignorant remarks I have heard in the past, being small made no less of a woman.

My curves didn’t define me. My intellect, my personality, my femininity, and all the love I had to offer – that’s what made me a woman. No matter how many brands I found with bras that fit me perfectly, if I didn’t learn to accept my body then I would never find peace. My small boobs were here to stay and that’s ok with me. At some point in your life, you have to learn to accept and embrace your curves no matter how big or small they may be and I’m happy to say I’m at that point in life.

My story represents countless others out there, not only other petite women but also full figure women who suffered from the same size complex wanting to be smaller. It’s true that a person will always desire something they don’t have and the same concept applied to the female body. As a woman, we will look at our reflection and focus only the flaws we wish we could change and never the beauty that shines underneath. While I may not be the average size, my small busts do not make me less of a woman and even though I do not have the curvaceous busty bosom of my dreams, my breasts are perfectly fine just the way they are.

Holly

Holly

The Full Figured Chest provides creative and elegant copywriting for the high end lingerie industry.

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Lovely in Lemon – 7 Lingerie Ideas for Easter

Image via Bettie Blue’s Loungerie

Estelle Puleston is a lingerie designer who really has a thing for lemon underthings – her entire first collection was this color! She runs Esty Lingerie when she’s not sewing suspenders or drooling over the latest Kiss Me Deadly releases. 

I’m not normally one for themed lingerie but there’s something about Easter that just makes me want to don every vibrant shade of sunshine yellow I can get my hands on. Seemingly to fuel my addiction, a bunch of my favorite designers all have lemon- colored pieces in store right now! As if you needed an excuse to splurge on some more lingerie, here are 7 great buys you might want to treat yourself to in place of an Easter egg this year…

Image via Made by Niki

What could be more “look at me!” than bright yellow lingerie? Bright yellow lingerie that’s topped with layer upon layer of flirty ruffles is what! This is the perfect frou-frou lingerie set to really make a statement on March 31st.

Image via Honey Cooler Handmade

I adore Honey Cooler Handmade’s unique style and these silk jacquard panties are no exception. At first glance, they’re simply gorgeous. Take a closer look however and you’ll see the brand’s quirky signature look really lies in the details – this time, thanks to a vintage lace insert embroidered with little deer!

Image via Knickerocker

Some lingerie was simply made for Easter, like these adorable panties by Knickerocker that are printed with chicks and feature an awesome ruffled-tulle back. These panties were made to be seen!

Image via Deborah Marquit

I have a love-hate relationship with neon lingerie; done wrong, it’s incredibly tacky. Done well however, it just looks very, very expensive and I think I can safely say this fluorescent bra set falls into the second category – another one to show off!

Image via Eternal Spirits

For the corset lovers among us, if you haven’t heard about Eternal Spirits yet then you’re really missing out! Handmade in the UK, I simply adore everything they do, but this eye-catching combination of yellow and pink is definite favorite.

Image via Bettie Blue’s Loungerie

I just love how floaty and glamorous this vintage-inspired babydoll set is, and the color is sure to put a smile on your face – they say themselves that it will “brighten up the rainiest of summer days”!

Image via Love Me Sugar

I bought a friend a Love Me Sugar eye mask for Christmas and I’ve given a couple away as blog prizes too so I’ve had a chance to see the luxury quality of these masks first hand, but strangely I have yet to buy myself one. I plan to in 2013 and I have a feeling it will be this glorious sunshine-yellow one!

Gift-giving tip: If you’re buying your partner lemon lingerie for Easter, pop it inside an egg-shaped gift box from eBay or Amazon, wrap in foil and tie with a ribbon bow – they’ll have no idea!

Holly

Holly

The Full Figured Chest provides creative and elegant copywriting for the high end lingerie industry.

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Write for The Lingerie Addict!

Not many people know we accept guest posts, but I love publishing them. That’s because I understand it’s impossible for any one person (or group of people) to talk about lingerie in a way that’s relevant to everyone. My perspective will never be the perspective of every single woman, and making The Lingerie Addict a welcoming space for all women – no matter their size, shape, sexuality, age, race, or dis/ability – is very important to me…even if I’m personally unqualified to write articles covering all of those topics.

Because of this, TLA accepts and features guest posts on an ongoing basis from our readers. Since lingerie is a subject that touches on a LOT of different parts of life, please don’t feel confined to keeping your guest post to fashion trends, bra fitting tips, shapewear advice, or any of the other “typical”lingerie topics (in fact, I’m okay with you skipping all four of those subjects all together!).

While we’ve covered our guest post guidelines a few times (such as here), I like to summarize them every time we post a new reminder about guest articles:

  1. Your piece should be an original piece of writing. I’d prefer that it’s not been published anywhere else prior to being published here, but I am willing to look at posts that were first published to your own blog for republication on TLA.
  2. Press releases and advertisements are not guest posts. We do not accept guest posts from SEO firms or backlink hunters.
  3. Your article must be related to lingerie. The Lingerie Addict does not publish general fashion, beauty, lifestyle, or shopping pieces. However, you can write about any lingerie-related topic of your choosing.
  4. We do not publish fiction or erotica.
  5. If your piece is declined, I’m unable to offer feedback or corrections regarding how to improve it.
I am especially interested in publishing guest posts from the following subject areas: trans* concerns, disability concerns, breast cancer concerns, articles related to lingerie and aging, articles related to lingerie and sexual orientation, plus size lingerie concerns, and small bust lingerie concerns. I am not looking to publish articles related to buying/wearing sexy lingerie for your man, crossdressing/underwear fetishes, or any pieces which offer generic bra fitting advice (if you say anything about “80% of women wearing the wrong size bra,” I will delete your e-mail. Honest.). If you’re wondering what kind of guests posts we’ve previously published, you can find them here.
All guest post submissions should go directly to editor@thelingerieaddict.com. Please include a bio and any relevant photos/illustrations that you have permission to use. Please do not submit your article by another method (such as Facebook message or blog post comment). I’ll be in touch within 7 business days if your article has been accepted for publication.
Thanks so much and I can’t wait to read your posts!
–Cora
Treacle

Treacle

Lingerie Blogger. Sugar Junkie. Sci-Fi Geek.

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Why Shop in a Luxury Lingerie Boutique? A Special Guest Post from Faire Frou Frou

Alison Rubke

In honor of Small Business Saturday, today we’re republishing this 2010 guest article from Alison of Faire Frou Frou. While TLA is not a blog exclusively for indie boutiques and designers, we do make an effort to feature them as often as possible. Please take a look at our Etsy Lingerie Directory, Corset Directory, and Lingerie Boutiques Directory for more small businesses you can support during the holiday season.

I can’t tell you how happy I am to feature a guest post from the lovely, fashionable, and incredibly business savvy Alison Rubke of the world-famous lingerie boutique Faire Frou Frou (seriously…Dita von Teese shops there!).  Not only is Faire Frou Frou one of the best lingerie boutiques in the nation, they also have a very popular fashion lingerie blog–Frou Frou Fashionista.  As one of the inspirations for getting my own lingerie blog started, it’s an absolute honor to feature an article from them here. Today, Alison is here to talk about what makes shopping at a luxury lingerie boutique different from the typical ‘big box’ store in the mall.

There’s a reason why specialty lingerie boutiques can successfully hold their own in a world of big name department stores…and we’re here to tell you why!

The idea behind a specialty lingerie store is quite simply to provide experience, guidance and excellent customer service as relates to intimate apparel. Sounds pretty simple, right? There are certain advantages to shopping specialty stores that set them apart from your experience at the big guys. We will explore those Pros and will also provide our tips to making your experience in those lingerie shops more enjoyable.

The ADVANTAGES of shopping at a specialty lingerie boutique (such as Faire Frou Frou!):

An intimate setting where a customer can receive one-on-one consultation and advice regarding his/her needs.
Access to unique brands
Ability to special-order a size/color/brand that is not in stock.
Knowledgeable sales staff. You will work with someone who knows the products well, can tell you when new items are expected to arrive, knows what the trends are for the forthcoming season, has a working relationship with most of the designers/vendors so as to pass along any advice/suggestions you may have, and someone who can properly assess whether an item fits correctly or not.
• A small boutique wants to build long-term relationships with its customers. That being said, we (at Faire Frou Frou) would never suggest an ill-fitting item to a customer just to make a quick sale because we know that customer will never want to come back. We provide honest advice and will even suggest another store if we do not have what someone is looking for. We are very open to providing customers with addresses/websites to other stores or names of brands we do not carry. Customer service like that is forward-thinking and goes a long way.
• A specialty boutique can handle customized and specific requests.
• A smaller store will typically go out of its way to make the customer happy because their business is their passion and their livelihood.
• As the owner of Faire Frou Frou, I make a point of working in the store at least 4-5 days a week to stay in touch with what the customers want. Our experiences with each customer only make us that much better for the next customer who comes in.
• We handle our own social networking, which means we access the opinions and suggestions of potential customers worldwide. We are passionate about what we do and absorb as much advice as we can.
• If anything, a lot of our customers just don’t want to deal with going to the mall!
Different specialty boutiques have different niche markets. For instance ours is a focus on luxury lingerie, but for others their store specialty may be mastectomy bras, nursing bras, pin-up/rockabilly, plus-size, small-busts, foundations, etc.

Based on the customers we have worked with, here are our TIPS for ladies/gents before going lingerie shopping:

Be open-minded to trying different sizes. You may be surprised that you wear a 34C in one brand a perfectly fit a 36B in another. So many people can be so rigid about their size! The average customer is unaware that a British bra is often sized differently than a French or American bra…which means you will certainly fit in different sizes in different brands.
Gentlemen, please do your homework! Knowing her size before you go shopping will make the experience that much easier. You can either peek in her drawer for her sizes, or just ask her!
Lingerie shopping can be so much more than just Bras and Panties; you have the option of chemises, robes, PJs, bustiers, Camisoles, Hosiery, etc. We always suggest stockings with a lingerie ensemble; it really takes the whole look up a notch.
• Keep in mind that a specialty boutique is accustomed to helping people with very specific needs.
Don’t be sorry about your size! We tend to notice our small-busted customers apologizing for “being too small”…that’s nonsense! Keep in mind that we see a lot of breasts on a daily basis…like a doctor, we’ve seen it all so there’s nothing to be ashamed of and it’s our job to find the brands that suit you best!
• Some customers feel there is something wrong with their body because they have a hard time finding the right bra…that is not true at all. These customers just have not found the right brand or style yet. There’s a reason there are so many brands to choose from; one bra style/brand does not work on everyone. The right bra for each person is out there somewhere!
If you do not feel 100% pleased with how you look in an item, do not buy it. We always know when a customer has found the right item when they have an exclamation of excitement from the fitting room!
• We have quite a few customers who shop for Bridal gifts. Sometimes it’s hard to buy your friend a bra (it’s such a personal preference), so we suggest finding a gift that runs sizes small, medium, large, etc. because there’s more wiggle room with fit. Also, if you are completely stumped on what size to buy for a gift, be creative and put together an assortment of accessories (like a pair of stockings and accessories by Maison Close or Booty Parlor…or perhaps Delicates Wash…anything that isn’t so specific with sizing).
Just because you were ill-fitted and bought the wrong bra at a chain store, doesn’t mean all lingerie stores are that way. Give the specialty boutique a chance! We are prepared to have customers come in and request a bra fitting.
If a lingerie boutique has an online store, take a peek at it before heading in to shop…some of our customers come in with a shopping list from our website which makes the experience that much easier!

We hope these tips help you out…it’s just a bit of lingerie wisdom that we have gained in our experience in the industry.

Credits: Top three photos by Jed Root for Allure magazine. Last photo by Ari Dein.

Guest Post: My First Suspender Belt

The author.

Caterina Lewis would write under her birth name if only it were a touch more glam. She lives in the Frozen Northeast with three cats, myriad fickle muses, and the most darling mother a girl could want. She prefers the look of 18th century stays but would be more comfortable in an hourglass underbust corset, as overbusts do her no favours. Find her at Refuge in Audacity (postraphstunner.wordpress.com).

I know I want them the day I open a pair of holdups that won’t.

My aunt has been sending me lingerie from Germany since I was finally old enough to appreciate it. From vintage bras (which never quite fit in the cups) to an entire trousseau’s worth of thongs, I must have a small fortune in smallclothes. I’ve been saving the delicate, lace-topped nude thigh-highs in their packages for special occasions, only since this latest CFIDS flare, I’ve had to wear them more often. Tights are no longer comfortable enough for daily wear, and in a Western New York winter, the wearing of skirts requires hosiery. Now that the weather has turned firmly to autumn, I rummage through my sock drawer for a new pair of sheer stockings, given my last pair is hopelessly laddered.

I suppose if I let my stockings sit in the package for too long, the sticky stuff inside the welt will stop sticking. Or else my poor legs are too dry and flaky. Either way, as soon as I’ve got one stocking up, the other falls down! Maybe my foremothers had it right: suspenders are the way to go.

Since I’m running out of the house to buy a slip, I devise an emergency system comprised of elastic strips, safety pins, and a very solid pair of knickers. (Since I don’t have a slip, I’m making do with a pair of short pantalettes. Why must dresses and skirts be made of lining material these days?) I am careful not to pin where I’ll be sitting; all the same, the whole time I’m out, I’m peeking in mirrors, because none of my pinning feels secure.

I want a better elastic than the hacked-off top of that laddered stocking. I want better fasteners than safety pins. I want a suspender belt.

I mention this to my mother in the car. She laughs. “Straps?” she asks, and it sounds like “stropps” because after eighteen straight years here, she retains her gorgeous, curious Bavarian-German accent, the voice all the South Asians who call her think belongs to the Punjab. “Oh, we hated those growing up. Always a hassle!”

Well, hose are a hassle for me. The firm grip of a belt beats the pinch of a waistband any day. Besides, I’m a little under five feet tall. That waistband, if I don’t roll it, hits me up around my ribs. I could let it sit on my hips, but I haven’t enough behind to fill the spare material. Saggy, baggy, or rolled, it’s all hideous as well as painful. She may not care — she has a lot more padding than I do. Perhaps she prefers her queen-size control tops. I don’t want them, and I certainly don’t need what they do to my body.

I am grateful for my aunt for so many reasons. One of those reasons includes a knack for sewing which has come down from my great-aunt to my aunt to me. Because I sew, I have a measuring tape to hand. I can take my own measurements with a minimum of fuss. (Also, the family knack has let me alter one of my aunt’s old bras down to fit my A-cups. I am nothing if not resourceful.) Once I decide on a model, I discover that it comes in my very waist size, with room for bloating — er, wearing on my hips if I so desire. Cough.

I order a pair of sheer stockings which I have to confirm will indeed be my particular shade of nude; the swatch on the site would lead any consumer to believe the color tends toward mauve, which it absolutely does not. Thank goodness for the enterprising enthusiast who has photographed all sixteen-odd shades of this manufacturer’s sheers. Even “nude” has a tendency to look funny on my sallow-white legs, but nobody makes “fishbelly”. At least the opaques are simple: I want black and black I can have, for $1.99, no less. Shipping’s more expensive, but I don’t dare get more than one of each kind; what if they don’t work out? What if this isn’t my solution after all?

I haven’t got long to worry. My belt and my sheer stockings arrive on the third day after I order. I handle these packages with care. I don’t want my clumsy little hands making mincemeat of my delicates. Ever mindful of where my nails are, I slide one stocking over my leg, unwilling even to risk the other in case I should have to return them. I get the hang of the suspenders quickly enough, though I’ll need time to figure out where to fasten them on the welt and how much to tighten them once they’re fastened. The little tightening doohickey has teeth! Literally! They snag on the elastic. But this is good. It means I won’t suddenly find my stockings down around my knees or some such mischief.

Instead, and for the first time in forever, I feel secure in a pair of nylons. My hosiery fits like it was made for me. I begin to understand the confidence of women doing high kicks in burlesque acts and posing in ruffly bra and panty sets for pinup shots. I begin to believe I belong among them, finally past a long and awkward adolescence where lingerie is concerned. Even in this utilitarian white suspender belt and plain beige sheer stockings, I look polished, so unlike my usual borrowed-her-mother’s-hose chic. I’m comfortable, not frumpy. I could interview in a skirt without wondering if anyone’s staring at my legs.

Well, for the wrong reasons.

That my partner enjoys the look is only a postscript, because I truly believe in buying lingerie for my own enjoyment. I have needed this feeling. I have needed this view of myself in the mirror. So I now spend a little longer getting dressed than before? I’m prepared to take it. I have friends with similar disabilities who turn to makeup and nail polish when they want to indulge. This is how I do it. This is my pampering, my luxury.

Now, if I really want to turn indulgence up a notch, I hear corsets are wonderful for back support . . .

Treacle

Treacle

Lingerie Blogger. Sugar Junkie. Sci-Fi Geek.

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Article Topics We’re Looking to Publish on The Lingerie Addict

Lately, we’ve been getting a ton of requests for the kinds of articles people want to see more of on The Lingerie Addict…which is great, because I love that people feel like they can approach me and I’m really passionate about making The Lingerie Addict resource for as many as possible.

Unfortunately, some of these subjects are outside of my and my writers’ expertise. And though we could still research these pieces and put together an okay article, I think it’s so much better when people who are intimately familiar with certain topics write about them. After all, there are certain kinds of experiences I just don’t have. So here’s a list of topics we’re looking for articles, in more or less random order:

  • transgender concerns (lingerie advice while transitioning or post-transition, male to female or female to male)
  • disability issues/ableism in the lingerie industry (advice for other disabled women or editorials on how the lingerie industry could improve)
  • age and lingerie (either end of the spectrum: shopping for your daughters 1st bra or shopping as an older woman)
  • breast cancer concerns (information on mastectomies, breast forms, reconstruction, bra shopping post surgery, etc.)

If you’re interested in submitting a guest post for The Lingerie Addict, please take a look at our guest posting guidelines. Of course, you’re more than welcome to submit articles on subjects that aren’t these, but this is some of what we’re looking for right now. Thanks!

Treacle

Treacle

Lingerie Blogger. Sugar Junkie. Sci-Fi Geek.

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A Bra Editorial: Start with the (Real) Woman in the Mirror

Chai is the owner of Magaluna, an online lingerie store that curates pieces reflecting the sensibilities of the modern woman and places a special emphasis on discovering new talent.  Magaluna is also a community of empowered women celebrating femininity and all the trials and tribulations that make us who we are.  Magaluna launches in Spring 2013 but the community is active on Facebook.

Chai

I remember the first time I got intimate with my ex-husband, then a young man I had been flirting with for a couple weeks.  I was wearing a pair of gray yoga pants and a tight-fitted pink tank top.  Boosting my cleavage was a purple Victoria’s Secret push-up balconette bra that gave me an extra cup size…plus a set of gel pads that added even greater volume.

I’ll never forget his face after he unhooked my bra.  I never asked him what went through his head as an expression of deep confusion took over.  It’s the face you’d see on a little boy opening a box with a photo of a toy truck on it to find that the box only contained a half-eaten hot dog.  I managed to distract him quickly but how I felt in that moment sums up my troubled relationship with my boobs.  Was I guilty of ‘false advertising?’

Fast forward nine years and after more than a decade of purchasing push-up bras (almost exclusively from Vicky’s), dissatisfaction from poor fit finally forced me to consider alternatives.  But leading up to that point, almost as if by compulsion – and mostly ignorance – I kept buying them as a staple because I had gotten addicted to adding at least a cup size.

Every night when I peeled off my bra, my face changed much like my ex’s did.  No doubt, there’s a time and place for push-up bras and shape enhancements but owning nothing but push-ups really disconnected me from my own body.  I couldn’t recognize myself without a well-padded bra.

Bravely (by my standards!), I started to wear contour and unlined bras.  I reacquainted myself with my figure.  I’ll be honest.  I didn’t like it.  My inner critic was mean and deprecating.  But it felt so right and so empowering.  And I felt, just maybe, I was able to love myself the way I am.

Not long after I became comfortable with my new habit, I went shopping at Panty Raid on Hillhurst in Los Feliz.  “What size are you?” asked the owner.  “32B.”  “Oh then you can pick any bra!”  It was a magnificent feeling to be told I wasn’t inadequate.  In fact, quite the contrary!

I don’t know what life is like to be on the other end of the cup size spectrum.  From what I’ve read, fuller busted ladies face their own set of challenges.  We seem to be socialized to believe the grass is always greener on the other side and if someone different than you is considered beautiful, that automatically means you are not.  Garbage!

Let’s be clear, even though I’ve learned to stop wishing I had larger breasts, I’m still a boob lover.  I can love myself in a 32B while admiring ladies who rock a 36F.

If we can learn to appreciate the bodies we’ve been given, lingerie’s role will be to simply adorn what was beautiful to begin with.  Self-love and self-acceptance – not a piece of garment – will always be the only true path to salvation.

Treacle

Treacle

Lingerie Blogger. Sugar Junkie. Sci-Fi Geek.

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