Double Divas Review: Season 1, Episodes 4 & 5

So I watched episodes 4 and 5 of Double Divas over the weekend, and I'm sorry to say, things weren't much better (I know, I know... fool me twice, right?). In fact, there was a whole lot of wrong this week.

Let's start off with the worst of the worst, Cynthia's nursing bra fiasco. Towards the beginning of the episode, a nursing mom enters the store. She's young, a former cheerleader, and wants to find a pretty nursing bra to replace the plain beige one she's been wearing. All good, right? There are several amazing maternity and nursing bra lines out there, so it should be nothing to fit this particular client into one and send her on her merry way, yes?

No.

Instead, Cynthia decides to 'revolutionize the nursing bra.' How, you ask? By taking a regular bra, cutting out the tips, and sticking a couple of nursing pads in (she didn't know nursing bras needed pads in them, by the way). Not only was the final result wildly, wildly unattractive, it wasn't even vaguely original. Open tip bras are not a new invention, and they're certainly not a 'million dollar idea.' And quite frankly, if this is the extent of Cynthia's design aesthetic, I wouldn't even call her a designer. This was a farce.

In so many words, I'm annoyed an opportunity to impart some real bra advice to millions of women was instead used to perpetuate the myth that there are no beautiful, attractive maternity and nursing bras out there. Double Divas committed the cardinal sin of a lingerie boutique... instead of directing a customer to a place that could better serve her, they shoe-horned her into something that didn't even fit. And now, millions of women are still under the mistaken belief that pretty maternity bras are like unicorns --- everyone's heard of them, but no one's ever seen one. Not okay.

While that was the worst scene of the night, my second least-favorite scene came pretty close. While Cynthia and Molly are at a pin-up shoot (more on that later), Loren is running the store. But because it's Loren and because this is TV and because bras and panties aren't enough of a sensation, she can't just wear clothes while she's there. She has to wear a costume. As I mentioned in last week's review, lingerie has enough of a stigma attached to it; there's no need to add more. And heaven forbid people around the country start to think their local neighborhood lingerie boutique should greet them at the door in full circus or dominatrix gear. In a show that's full of tacky moments, this was the tackiest.

But even worse, Loren doesn't have the slightest idea about how to fit a customer. Now, I'm no bra fitting expert. I can't look at you and tell your exact band and cup size, but I can tell when a measurement is way off. And there is no way your 4'11", 92-pound customer wears a 30 band bra. As a point of comparison, I'm a 34 band (with a 30" ribcage measurement), and I'm a whole nine inches taller and 80 pounds heavier than the client was. I have a hard time believing she was anything more than a 28 (she was probably closer to a 26). And the fact that everything in the store was too big for her showed. So, once again, instead of directing a customer to a place that could better serve her, they shoe-horned her into something that didn't even fit.  Not okay.

Now, I've spent a lot of time talking about what I didn't like. Here's what I did like. I liked when Loren's Mom came in for a bra fitting after her double mastectomy. Molly and Cynthia put her in a piece that made her comfortable and confident and pretty. I liked when a seven-months pregnant client came in to find lingerie for her honeymoon and Cynthia put her into a great lingerie dress that fit and flattered her (and also offered to take up the band, because Cynthia is a seamstress not a designer). I liked when a professional female body builder came to the store nearly in tears because she hadn't been able to find lingerie that came anywhere close to fitting her and Molly and Cynthia found a fierce and sexy set that complemented her gorgeous physique. And I liked when Molly did a fabulous and glamorous pinup shoot. Because yay pinups!

Basically, just like last week, I like everything that involves Molly and Cynthia helping clients and I pretty much dislike everything that isn't that. Loren needs to go; she's a disgrace to lingerie boutiques everywhere. And Cynthia needs to give up her design dreams and delusions of 'million dollar ideas.' And if the show got rid of that, it'd actually be a good show. But that's the sad part. Because I have a feeling they won't.

Did you see last week's episodes? What did you think? Any plans to keep watching the show?