Maja Ogonowska

Awhile back, I did a post on the 7 Deadly Lingerie Sins. It’s become one of the most popular articles we’ve published to date (people really love sin, apparently), but I think it’s time for a bit of an update, and a new, 2012 spin.

Since I’m always around lingerie in some capacity, I hear a ton of lingerie rules everyday. And most of them, while well-intentioned, are pretty generic. You know what I mean: get a bra fitting, don’t wear the same bra more than one day in a row, have at least one bra that matches your skin tone, and so forth and so on.

It’s important stuff – there are lingerie newbies being born every single day – but it can also be a little repetitive…especially if you’ve been interested in lingerie for awhile and are already familiar with the basics.

So I felt like it might be nice to have a second set of lingerie rules that supplements the first few we always hear about. And since I love coming up with arbitrary lists of rules (don’t judge; it makes me feel wanted), I’ve put together a few things I think every Lingerie Addict should keep in mind when it comes to intimate apparel.

1) Affordable is subjective. One of the most popular questions I get is “Where can I find an affordable lingerie?” And while I understand what people are trying to ask, it’s not the best way of asking it. “Affordable” is incredibly subjective and what’s a good price to me could very well be too high (or too low!) for you. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being on a budget. But if you have a price point in mind, it’s hard for other people to connect you with the right choices when you’re being vague about what you can afford.

(On a related note, no criticizing other people’s budgets. If you don’t spend more than $5 on a pair of tights, good for you. If you refuse to spend less than a $100 on a bra, kudos. I’m glad you have a system that works. But it doesn’t mean everyone else needs to shop the way you do.)

2) Lingerie is not just about sex. I am so tired of constantly being told that lingerie is only for women who are in heterosexual relationships to wear for their men. Don’t get me wrong…it’s great if you’ve found lacey knickers help out with your love life, but lingerie is more than just a bedroom accessory. And if your significant other isn’t into lingerie, that’s okay. Wear it for you. So many people think lingerie is only bras and garter belts, but it also includes robes and chemises and slips and loungewear and so much more. The whole point of lingerie is to make you feel good. The layer closest to your skin should help you feel comfortable and confident and amazing and awesome all day long. And if that’s not what’s happening, that’s a problem. Let’s start moving the conversation beyond the sexy sexy, and to how our intimates make us feel.

3) Be willing to look around before insisting no one makes anything in your size. At least once per day, I get an email or a Tumblr message from someone who tells me that no makes pretty bras above a D cup or below an A cup. Ladies, that is simply not true. Now, you may not be able to find those bras (they’re called “extended sizing”) in your local shopping mall, but they are out there, and part of being a proactive consumer is looking around before giving up. There have never (and I mean NEVER) been more lingerie options available for women at either size of the size spectrum than right now. Whether you’re a 28AA, a 42N, or a 50DD, I know for a fact that there is at least one brand out there is making pretty bras in your size. You just have to look.

4) But avoid looking for unicorns. While being a proactive consumer is good, having unreasonable expectations is not. There is no 100% silk, handmade, quarter cup bra in a F cup that retails for less than $25. Unless it’s being made in a sweatshop. And those are not okay. Shopping for lingerie is already hard enough; don’t make it any more difficult than it has to be by setting yourself up for failure at the start. Having a sense of what’s out there is part of being an informed consumer.

5) Everything is not going to fit you perfectly. That’s okay. It’s true for everyone, and it’s not always the fault of the lingerie. If you’re an E cup, a flimsy bralette is going to look different on you than on a B cup. If you have shallow boobs,  you won’t fill out a bullet bra the same way someone with full boobs does. If you have a high waist/hip ratio, every panty brand just won’t work for you. Unless you’re the actual sample model for someone’s company, trial-and-error when it comes to what brands are best for your body should always be expected. And when you do find something that works, buy it…because that brand has already shown you that you’re their target customer.

6) Never feel ashamed of your lingerie choices. If you like really skimpy, tawdry, X-rated lingerie, embrace it. If you only wear the vintage stuff, go for it. If it’s silk 24/7 for you, fine.  And if you prefer plain, organic cotton briefs, that’s great too. What you like is what you like, and that’s okay. And no one else should me making you feel like there’s a problem with your choices. If it’s being made, that means someone’s buying it. And as the saying goes, the world takes all kinds.

7) Be a conscious consumer. There are tons of different ways of being conscious, and I’m not here to say one kind is better than another. We all have limitations on our time, but it’s worth looking at where your undergarments are made, who made them, and what conditions the people who made them work in. I know how overwhelming that kind of research can be, but if it helps, think of the thing that matters most to you (organic or fair trade or locally made, etc. etc.) and start from there. When it comes to making things better within the lingerie industry, consumers have the ultimate power…we just have to exercise it.

As always, I love to hear what you think, so if you’ve got a rule of your own or disagree with what I’ve listed here, let’s talk about it in the comments!

Treacle

Lingerie Blogger. Sugar Junkie. Sci-Fi Geek.

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After a couple of weeks of writer’s block (mostly brought on by the fact I had a lot going on in my personal life), I’ve been trying to look at my blog through fresh eyes lately. I’ve been pretty open about the reasons why I started blogging, and even though I’m not the same person I was back in April 2008 (when I made my very first blog post), I never want The Lingerie Addict to completely lose sight of its roots.

Making lingerie accessible to the everyday woman is what drives TLA,, but sometimes I forget just how much “stuff” I’ve learned in the last four years. Knowledge I take for granted now would have been completely foreign to me even a year and a half ago. Yet The Lingerie Addict gets dozens of new readers everyday, and judging from the questions I get in my inbox,  there are still hundreds (if not thousands of women) who have just started their lingerie journey.

Looking back, one of hardest things for me when I first became interested in lingerie was knowing where to spend my money. There are so many lingerie boutiques and and so many brands (way more than when I started blogging) that just knowing where to start without resorting to expensive trial and error is overwhelming. And I wish I’d had someone to help sort everything and at least give me a place to start shopping.

So this blog post is all about sharing a few of those discoveries I wish I’d made earlier with you. These are my lingerie drawer staples, the brands I buy with my own money all the time. And whether you’re new to lingerie or an ‘old hand’ at it, I hope this list of 7 pieces (in no particular order) helps you when you’re shopping.

Of course, because this list is personal (I actually do own everything on it), it’s also limited, mostly by my size (34B/C up top, Large on the bottom). So if there are brands that work really well for you that aren’t included here, definitely feel free to leave them in the comments. After all, more knowledge is more better in my book.

(Edit: There are no affiliate links in this post. Everything I’m recommending here, I’m recommending because I love it.)

Tea, via Girdlebound

1) Rago Lacette Corselette – Also known as a girdle dress or even a garter dress, I consider the corselette to be an an essential piece of shapewear, particular under dresses and especially under vintage-style dresses. The great thing about this piece is that it’s also beautiful enough to wear on it’s own, either in the bedroom or for the ever-popular boudoir/pinup photoshoot. I like Rago’s corselette because it helps you feel shapely and cinched, but not like you’re stuffed into a sausage casing (at least if you buy your right size). One small note: pear shaped women with smaller boobs (like myself) may need to go up a size and purchase bullet bra pads to fill out the cups. But this is one of the first pieces of lingerie I bought and I’m still in love with it. That link above goes to Girdlebound, which I recommend since they can custom dye your corselette any shade you like. They also carry all the other “official” colorways like Mocha and Pink & Black or Red & Black.

Hanky Panky Signature Lace Camisole and Boyshort

2) Hanky Panky boyshorts (or thongs, or briefs, or whatever you prefer) -  I only began wearing Hanky Panky last year, but they’ve pretty much made it impossible for me to wear anything else. This is the comfiest panty in the world, and the stretch lace is fun, flirty, and feminine – without being over the top. I tend to take companies’ press releases with a grain of salt, but these panties are everything Hanky Panky says they are and more. Believe me when I say they will spoil you forever. Oh! And did I mention you can machine wash these? And that they’re available up to a size 24? Accept no substitutes. Everyone’s doing stretch lace now, but if the panty doesn’t say Hanky Panky, it just won’t be the same quality. And if you’re on a budget (and who isn’t, really?) buy the seasonal colorways when they go on sale. It’s still the exact same lace, and they’re a great way to perk up your lingerie wardrobe.

Eberjey Robe

3) Eberjey Classic Robe – Have you ever bought something, and then wondered how you lived without it before? Yeah..that’s how I feel about my Eberjey robe. I’ve bought one or two robes before, usually of the sheer, bedroom only variety. But this was the first robe I bought exclusively for lounging around the house. And now I wear it all the time. It’s super soft, super comfy, and covers up everything quite nicely (so you can feel okay wandering around the house in it, even if you have company or kids). I confess I didn’t quite understand the point of a robe before I bought this one. Now my only regret is that I didn’t get it sooner.

Simone Perele ‘Nina’ Demi Bra & Boyshort

4)  Simone Perele ‘Nina’ Demi Bra – If you’re looking for something a bit more high-end, either because you adore luxury lingerie or because it’s a special occasion, I present to you Simone Perele’s ‘Nina’ set. You’re looking at stretch French Leavers lace, and it’s even more beautiful in person. Even better, the fit of this bra is so perfect, it’s mind-blowing (because ‘pricey’ and ‘ill-fitting’ go together like oil and water in my mind). In fact, it’s so comfy, that you can use it as an everyday set. And did I mention it looks amazing on? Sexy, sexy, sexy. If you’re able, invest in every color (especially when the seasonal ones go on sale). You won’t regret it.

Wolford Satin Touch 20 Tights

5) Wolford Satin Touch 20 Tights – It wouldn’t be fair to my roots as Stockings Addict to have a list of my 7 favorite lingerie finds without including hosiery. And Wolford is the queen of hosiery. Sometimes this brand gets a bad rap for being so expensive, and I get that. But these are worth it. Not only are these tights sheer enough for work (you could call them pantyhose). Not only do they give your legs a gorgeous, “yes, I just exfoliated and moisturized” sheen. Not only do they come in a range of skintones. In addition to all that I just mentioned…they last forever. Unless you machine wash them. Which I really don’t recommend because it removes whatever magic these get in the factory. Basically, don’t buy these unless you want to be ruined for every other hosiery brand forever.

Betsey Johnson Eyelet Lace Demi Bra

6) Betsey Johnson Demi Bra - If Hanky Panky is my go-brand for knickers, then Betsey Johnson is the same for bras. While I like all their styles, I’m a special fan of the demi bra. For me, this is the perfect everyday bra. They’re crazy comfortable. They fit true to size (maybe even to the point of being generously sized). And they’re super durable (yes, mine have taken a turn or three in the washing machine and come out no worse for the wear). Even better, this bra comes in fun, seasonal colors. Oh, and it’s reasonably priced. As you’ve probably already guessed, I stock up when the seasonal colors go on sale (recognize a pattern here yet?), which is every six months or so. Because really, who’s going to call you out for wearing last season’s underwear?

Timeless Trends Pink and Blue Silk Corset

7) Timeless Trends Corset – One of the questions I’m asked most often, by far, is “Where can I find a good, affordable corset?” And while I’m of the opinion that the best corsets are custom made, I also know that’s not within everyone’s reach. So when it comes to an inexpensive, off the rack, yet still well-made corsetry, I always recommend Timeless Trends. Now these won’t fit as well as custom, and you should never try waist training in them, but if you’re wanting an authentic, multi-layered, steel-boned corset that won’t tear up or warp or be rendered completely useless after one wearing, this is the place to go. I especially recommend them for people who are brand new to corsets and still on the fence about investing several hundred dollars in a custom one. Because plain and simple, you won’t find a better quality corset for less money.

These are the 7 pieces of lingerie I wish I’d known about when I first started blogging. If you liked this post, let me know in the comments, and I’ll do a part 2. After all, there were definitely some favorites left off of this list. ;-)

Treacle

Lingerie Blogger. Sugar Junkie. Sci-Fi Geek.

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