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Date Night Lingerie: What To Wear On Valentine’s Eve

The year’s biggest date night is almost upon us, and you’re not alone if you’re fretting over the details. Each year many of us face the usual questions: Who will be my Valentine? What will we do to celebrate? What should I wear? And my most frequently asked question: What underwear will I wear?

It can often be a very thoughtful process choosing your lingerie selection for this special evening. Depending on whom you are seeing, what stage you are at in your relationship, and where your (and their) tastes lie, you may find yourself with a lingerie quagmire on your hands. While you want to make sure you feel your most confident and comfortable, you also will want to look the part, portraying the image you believe most adequately represents your personality while illustrating the appropriate kind of message to your partner.

If you have the date and location set, but are just stressing over the finishing touches on your ensemble, then continue reading for some suggestions on what to wear underneath it all. To be clear, these are not dating tips or suggestions that will work for everyone. All relationships are different and move at their own unique speeds. These ideas are only meant to inspire you to find what works best for you and your needs.


Hanky Panky, Elle Macpherson & Honeydew Intimates

The Blind Date
Scenario: You have never met in person before, set up by a mutual acquaintance or an online dating web service.
Concern: Who knows if you will be compatible or even have any kind of mutual attraction?
Lingerie Solution: Stick with something comfortable yet stylish. Chances are you will not be revealing them tonight, so comfort is key. Choose pieces in soft fabrics that don’t pinch, pull, or poke. But a little fashion detail can go a long way, helping give you that extra bit of confidence knowing you still look great under your clothes.
Suggestion: I recommend comfy basics in soft fibers like cotton or modal blends. A touch of lace or a cheeky print will pump up the flirt factor while still remaining no-fuss and relaxed. Try separates from Hanky Panky, Elle Macpherson, or Honeydew Intimates.
Hotness Factor: Lukewarm


Spanx, Bali & Fruit Of The Loom

The First Date
Scenario: You have met each other before and are interested. Now it’s time to see how compatible you are together.
Concern: The attraction is there, but if all goes well tonight you don’t want to spoil the potential for future dates by getting too intimate too fast.
Lingerie Solution: It may be a good idea to wear something unflattering to help curb any desire you may have to get physical throughout the night. If alcohol is involved it can often cloud our judgment and lead to decisions we wouldn’t usually make. So arm yourself with some granny panties or full coverage, figure-concealing basics to ensure you’ll avoid doing something you may regret.
Suggestion: Steer clear of anything sexy or fashionable so you won’t be tempted to give in to your desires so early in the game. How about a pair of cotton floral print briefs and a basic nude bra? Spanx, Bali, and Fruit Of The Loom have all got you covered in this category.
Hotness Factor: Arctic


Myla, B.Tempt’d & Claudette

The “Tonight’s The Night” Date
Scenario: You have gone out a few times and things are looking good. You are ready to move on to the next base and now is the time many dates begin to really heat up.
Concern: You’ve built up an attraction to this person and don’t want to ruin the mood. When the time comes you plan on being fully prepared and ready to go!
Lingerie Solution: This is the best time to break out your favorite lingerie. A matching set is always a winner in a seductive fabric that will make you feel sexy and confident. It may be too soon to show off some of the kinky stuff, so pick something pretty and stylish that flatters your curves and makes you feel like a million bucks.
Suggestion: Try a coordinating set in sumptuous satin or delicate lace. Keep it sophisticated in black, neutrals, reds, or pinks, or get playful in hot prints like wild leopard or flirty polka dots. Pieces from Myla, B. Tempt’d and Claudette are sure to make this night a memorable one for you both.
Hotness Factor: Hot


Maison Close, Hopeless Lingerie & Atsuko Kudo

The Committed Partner Date
Scenario: Congratulations — the two of you have been in a relationship for a while now and things are going well! Now that you are familiar with one another, it’s time to get a little more playful in the bedroom and focus on each other’s most intimate fantasies.
Concern: A full understanding of your partner’s wants and desires will allow you to cater to both of your specific needs. Since you have been together for some time, you can spend less time worrying about what your partner may think and focus on pushing the envelope a little further.
Lingerie Solution: It’s time to get daring. Always wondered about crotchless panties? Intrigued by bondage? Whatever your usual go-to lingerie style, try switching it up with a completely contradictory look for an unexpected surprise that your partner will not forget.
Suggestion: Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone here. Something bold and salacious from Maison Close, Hopeless Lingerie, or Atsuko Kudo may elicit a blush or two initially, but will be well worth it in the end.
Hotness Factor: Scorching


3 Wishes, Trashy Lingerie & Victoria’s Secret

The Long Term Date
Scenario: You have been together for a long while now and this is not your first Valentine’s Day together.
Concern: It may be time to spice things up a little. By now you know each other inside and out, including all of your quirks and eccentricities. You may be married or have a family but want to keep the spark alive after all this time together.
Lingerie Solution: It may be time to pull out all the stops and try something really unconventional. This is a great occasion to experiment with role-playing and acting out your wildest fantasies. A sexy nurse is always sure to raise heartbeats, while a sexy chambermaid knows her way around the bedroom. Whatever fantasy you choose for you and your partner, make sure to have fun with it and only take it as far as you feel comfortable with.
Suggestion: Sexy, themed costumes from 3 Wishes, Trashy Lingerie & Victoria’s Secret are sure to get things heating up quickly.
Hotness Factor: Sizzling


Mary Green, Marika Vera & Oscar De La Renta

The Self Love Date
Scenario: Being dateless on Valentine’s Day is nothing to scoff at! Nearly 50% of the American population is single, and what better time to get in touch with your emotions and practice self-appreciation?
Concern: Not having a date on Valentine’s Day does not mean a night of loneliness and self-pity. There are plenty of ways to celebrate this time and treat yourself to an indulgent date night of your own.
Lingerie Solution: Why not wear your favorite, most sensual lingerie today just for yourself? Indulge in a bottle of wine, some chocolates, and major pampering for a night that is all about you. Pieces that feel luxurious to the touch are a great way to help you feel sensual and extravagant.
Suggestion: Choose soft and silky styles that hug you in all the right places on this romantic holiday. Mary Green, Marika Vera, and Oscar De La Renta are just a few luxury brands that will have you feeling pretty and pampered in no time.
Hotness Factor: Hot

What will you be wearing this Valentines Day? How will you celebrate this year?


Lingerie designer and founder of WonderLust Lingerie. I specialize in fashion and trend pertaining to lingerie, sleepwear, hosiery and everything in between. I believe that the right kind of underwear can change your entire outlook for the day so finding a balance between fashion and function is key.

10 Comments on this post

  1. Frank says:

    I didn’t see it as offensive, either. More practical based on how the reader would want to play things.
    Loved the ‘Hotness Factor’ ratings ; )

    Just a thought – if the Blind Date is going *that* well, I’d hope someone who’s allowed the privilege of becoming that intimate in that time frame isn’t going to be disappointed or somehow insulted by your intimates.

    Hmm. Why does some movie about a diary come to mind?

  2. Vanessa says:

    I hate to sound like Captain Buzzkill but the whole ‘First Date’ copy is really slut shamey. What’s wrong with having sex on the first date? Why should you try and ‘curb’ your desire? And why would having sex on a first date ‘spoil the potential for future dates by getting too intimate too fast’? This sounds like something from a 50s housekeeping manual…

    I really love this blog, and I know this is a light hearted piece but that section felt very jarring to me.

    • Cora Treacle says:

      Hi Vanessa,

      No, you don’t sound like a buzzkill at all. I want people to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts here. It’s really important to me to have multiple perspectives, and I want you to know that I do what understand what you’re saying.

      I read all my columnists posts before publishing them, and I personally didn’t interpret this particular paragraph as slut-shaming. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having sex on the first date, of course, but there are some women who would rather not for their own personal reasons. If a woman would prefer not to have sex on the first date (or the second date or the third date or so on) and would like to wear lingerie that she believes would discourage that possibility, then this particular section was cheekily written for her…without judgement. And while I definitely acknowledge that our ‘no slut-shaming’ stance could have been more specific, that is how I interpreted this section.

      However, I’ve sent a note to Kristina so she can drop by and reply to you as well. I’ll also be more cognizant of this in the future.

      All the best and thanks again for commenting,

      P.S. By the by, I’ve never worn anything that plain on any date of mine, first or otherwise! ;-)

    • Little Lulu says:

      Yes, thanks for saying that. I had sex on my most recent first date; he proposed over Christmas. Not a relationship-ruiner!

    • Little Lulu says:

      Yes, that really bothered me too. I had sex on my most recent first date; he proposed to me over Christmas. Clearly it wasn’t the relationship-ruiner the author thought it would be!

    • Emmy says:

      Also agree. I prefer to regret the things I haven’t done, not the things I have.

    • Kristina says:

      It is unfortunate that a portion of my article was offensive to you. That was not my intention when writing it. As I highlighted in the 3rd paragraph “these are not dating tips or suggestions that will work for everyone. All relationships are different & move at their own unique speeds. These ideas are only meant to inspire you to find what works best for you & your needs.”

  3. Sarah says:

    I love the set on the clothesline in the top photo — do you know where it’s from?

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