Real Talk and a Rant

(cross-posted from The Lingerie Addict Tumblr and Facebook)

There are people who think I should only post photos of small-busted women. There are people who think I should only post photos of full-busted women. There are people who think I should only post photos of women with tattoos or plus sized women or older women or women who aren’t photoshopped, and so forth and so on.

I don’t know what’s been going on lately, but I’ve been getting a ton of angry messages from people who think I have some kind of personal grudge against them because my blog isn’t just about the women they think should be represented all time (usually couched in language similar to “women who look like me” – whatever that happens to be).

First of all, as a muscular, scarred-up, size 10, afro’d, black woman who never sees anyone that looks like her in any mainstream media anywhere (unless it’s a photo of myself that I posted myself), I understand that kind of frustration. Truly. Underrepresentation is unfair.

But before you send me an angry message complaining that I never post about anything for full busted women or I never post about anything for plus size women or I never post about for small busted women, please take a few minutes to search the platform you’re on. Because while I fully acknowledge that making TLA’s blog and social media more diverse is an on-going project (and one I am fully committed to), there is a huge difference between me *never* posting a certain a thing and me just not posting it on the day you happened to stop by.

In other words, everything I post is not going to be 100% relevant to you all of the time. That’s an unreasonable expectation.

I am not a body size blogger. Full busts, small busts, petite sizes, plus sizes…none of those are the sum total of what TLA is about. I’m a lingerie blogger. And that means I post photos of the lingerie that inspires me, which just so happens to include a LOT of different things at a lot of different sizes. Some of it might work for you. Some of it might not. And that’s okay. Because there is somebody out there it applies to.

And now you know. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

Cora

Cora

Founder and Chief Editor of The Lingerie Addict. I started TLA in small studio apartment in 2008. Since then, my little site has become the leading lingerie blog in the world, and it's been featured in Entrepreneur, Forbes, CNN, Time, Today, and Fox News. I believe lingerie is fashion too, and that every woman deserves gorgeous underpinnings that help her feel comfortable and confident. Body snark free zone since 2012.

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7 Comments

  1. Annmarie
    27/08/12 at 18:20

    I truly find this blog to be one of the most diverse, accommodating, and open minded lingerie blog one can find. I also like the wide range of lingerie-related issues discussed here, and how they are presented from different angles.

    For every one angry response you may get there are dozens of appreciative others who may not even tell you this.
    Keep up the good work!

  2. 27/08/12 at 20:58

    ^Correct.

    There seems to be a little virus going around that says ‘Diversity means you shall think exactly like me. Or I’ll make you.’
    The other is as old as the next: ‘I’m too lazy to search past three posts. Waaah!’
    I realize this is a body-snark-free zone, and that’s dangerously close to plain snark, so I’ll stop there.

    No one can be all things to all people. You’ll please no one, least of all yourself.

    I have a suggestion some will take as snark, but I sincerely mean it: If you don’t see what you’d like to read, go start your own blog. Probably these days you should start out on Tumblr, but I’m serious. It’s a big Internet – there’s room for all, and best wishes to all who try.

  3. Thursday
    28/08/12 at 0:36

    I love how you work hard to make all your platforms inclusive, Treacle. And maybe one day when lingerie advertising everywhere really shows diversity, we can see a greater range of representations on your blog too. But as much as you set out to show women of all aspects, I agree, if lingerie is what we’re looking at, you can only work with what is out there, and often that’s a very limited range of sizes, shapes and ethnic backgrounds.

    Keep up the good work and maybe the rest of the industry will catch up:)

  4. 28/08/12 at 10:19

    Well said. Your blog is always a delight to read, whether a post is relevant to my budget or body shape or not. Your posts are comprehensive and informative, so let the haters hate. Over 26 000 Facebook likes lets you know just how cool your blog is :)

  5. Sam
    28/08/12 at 10:20

    Just jumping in to add my backup to this (deserved) chorus of agreement. I admire how the diversity of bodies that I can find on this blog. It’s particularly impressive considering the subject. The lingerie industry has come a long way when it comes to making things for people outside the so-called standard, but there’s still very far to go. I’m glad to have this blog and Treacle’s determination to speak plainly and openly about problems in the lingerie world.

    TLA is a lingerie blog which is helping to shape the lingerie industry, but does not represent the industry at large. If we want to see more images of people who look like us, we need to talk to those who create those images, or create images ourselves. On that note, I’m inspired. Perhaps it’s time to stop just reading and start creating.

  6. 31/08/12 at 11:50

    Aside from the fact that I’ve read posts on this blog that make mention of all of the groups you mentioned (plus size, full bust, small bust, etc) it’s more important to note that you have no obligation to cater to anyone. This is your lingerie blog, it’s up to you what you should do with it. But honestly, I feel as though this blog is one of the most diverse I’ve read, and it’s true, sometimes I even think “I wish there were more posts about lingerie that is relevant to me” but that is a side-effect of diversity. You post about so many different things that the amount of posts relevant to me will be less than a blog dedicated to my size range. I personally love that you mention so many different brands, styles and bodies. It makes this blog uniquely yours.

  7. 01/09/12 at 20:33

    Amen, amen, AMEN!

    I respect your blog and blogging BECAUSE you cover a full spectrum of woman. Personally, I’ve seen a variety of different types of woman and articles geared towards these woman through the years I’ve been following you, so like you said, do your research before you shoot off an angry email.

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