Lingerie Test Kitchen: 5 Infomercial Products Reviewed

By: Kristina

 

We’ve all seen the ads on TV claiming to improve our well being, make us more beautiful, simplify our lives, and basically transform us into shining beacons of perfection. But exactly how accurate are these claims?

Infomercials are known for hyping up products that we never knew we needed. Will my life really be improved if I call and order today? Can I really look like a supermodel / eliminate daily household chores / become more popular by purchasing these items?

In the name of curiosity I have chosen 5 lingerie inventions that have piqued my interests and decided to create my own test kitchen of sorts. Though different users will inevitably yield different experiences, here is a breakdown of my findings:

Product: Bare Lifts

Price/Where to Buy: $10 for a pack of 10 / www.barelifts.com

Claim: To comfortably lift sagging breasts without a bra by using clear stickers to pick up the breast and affix it to the upper chest.

Initial Impression: I wasn’t sure this would be effective on my smaller non-sagging chest so I decided to test these out on an agreeable D cup guinea pig.

Review: The initial application process can get a bit tricky with the multiple steps and strong adhesive backing. You may end up wasting 1 or 2 in the process but once applied correctly you will see a visible difference. While you may not notice a drastic lift, you should see an overall perkiness with less sag. However at the end of an 8 hour test period be forewarned that slipping may be possible and the adhesive may not hold up as well. The removal of the stickers was relatively painless but there may be some soreness from the unnatural fold that creases the skin. Also for breasts that need extra support (D cups and higher) you can use the Bra Lifts with your favorite bra for added support & coverage.

Pros: Comfortable to wear. Easy to remove.

Cons: Difficult to apply. Does not give a huge lift. Loses grip over time and may start slipping.

Overall Rating: 3 out of 5

Product: Strap Perfect

Price/Where to Buy: $19.99 for a pack of 18 / www.strapperfect.com

Claim: To transform any bra into a racer back style in order to conceal unsightly bra straps from under your favorite tops.

Initial Impression: I was happy that they came in 3 colors however these plastic loops look like they may too hard and uncomfortable to wear against my bare back.

Review: The concealer clips were fairly easy to apply and you can use them on any bra that you want. Just slip your straps into the figure 8 opening and it automatically secures them in place. The clip also helps to lift the breasts and enhance cleavage since they are essentially pulling the straps together making them much tighter. However if you plan on wearing it for more then a couple of hours then I recommend using it on a bra that’s slightly oversized so that the clips make it more snug on your body. If your bra is already tight fitting then the clips will only squeeze your breasts together more, causing the bra to fit tighter and possibly rubbing or pinching in the wrong places. This also puts more pressure on the plastic clips and could cause them to break. All together they are relatively comfortable and get the job done in terms of concealing your straps under a tank top. Just make sure the back of your shirt is high enough to hide the clips.

Pros: Works well when worn with the right bra and top.

Cons: Can be uncomfortable and painful on tight fitting bras. Looks unattractive if not concealed properly.

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5

Product: Cami Secret

Price/Where to Buy: $10 for a pack of 6 / www.camisecret.com

Claim: To layer under your low cut tops in order to transform them into a more appropriate & modest look.

Initial Impression: These faux cami’s remind me of a dickie that men used to wear under their tuxedos. It looks easy to wear however I am not crazy about the lace trim at the top. Unfortunately they do not offer basic colors without the lace trim.

Review: The mock camisoles are designed to be snapped onto your bra straps in the front and tucked into the neckline of your low cut shirt. However since there is nothing to secure the bottom of the fabric it tends to bunch up and wrinkle as you move about. The adjustable snaps also fit best on straps that are about 9” apart therefore smaller girls may be forced to wear the cami up high on their chest while girls with larger chests may have a harder time attaching the clips to fit a wider bra strap or fully covering the exposed cleavage area. In addition the lace trim at the top tends to curl over and does not lay flat against the skin.

Pros: Comes in multiple colors.

Cons: Doesn’t lay flat or stay in place. Does not work as a one size fits all product. Cheaply made.

Overall Rating: 2 out of 5

Product: Commandos

Price/Where to Buy: $16 for a pack of 8 / www.gocommandos.com

Claim: To eliminate the need for underpants by offering comfort and protection in the form of a disposable patch which adheres directly onto your pants or jeans.

Initial Impression: The patches are made out of actual fabric and are a little off-putting at first glance. They also seem expensive so I would be hesitant to use these every day.

Review: The Commandos patches remind me of soft (and expensive) panty liners however they are meant to be placed directly on your pants. Be sure to follow the directions for application and apply while on a flat surface before wearing. The unique shape assures that the patch stays put and fits nicely over the 4 inside seams. They are soft and comfortable so it’s easy to forget that they are there and go about your day as usual. If you like the feel of going panty-less then this product is perfect for you.

Pros: Allows you to go without underwear while still feeling secure and protected. Comfortable & hygienic. Secure adhesive stays in place all day. Eliminates visible panty lines.

Cons: Can not be used as a panty liner (i.e. do not use during your period).

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5

Product: The Cleavage Caddy

Price/Where to Buy: $29.95 for 1 / www.cleavagecaddy.com

Claim: Allows you to carry personal belongings discretely tucked into the pouch that is then inserted in your bra.

Initial Impression: Sounds like a great way to go hands free. The caddy claims to easily hold your keys, money, phone & credit cards in a cute bra shaped pouch with delicate lace trim.

Review: The Cleavage Caddy comes in 2 sizes – Medium (under 38D) and Large (over 38D). For my small chest the Medium was most appropriate however once I filled the pouches with just the bare necessities I had a hard time fitting the caddy into my bra. After a struggle I had securely fastened the caddy to my bra at the front waistband and proceeded to get dressed, This is when I realized how ridiculous I looked with bumps and lumps sticking out all over the place. The caddy is just not meant for smaller chested girls under a C cup. However for a larger sized bosom the bra caddy is a wonderful invention that will allow you a safe (and flirty) place for your valuables while not compromising the overall silhouette of your cleavage. Larger ladies can easily wear the caddy and will find it convenient for travel, working out or a night on the town.

Pros: Holds all of your necessities safely. Stays in place. No worries about slipping or losing your valuables.

Cons: Only useful for larger cup sizes C and above.

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5

The market is saturated with these seemingly ingenious inventions claiming to improve your life, however it’s impossible to try them all. If you are a sucker for infomercials like I am then I’d love to hear some of your reviews on similar products you may have tested out. Have you had different experiences than I did or found any extraordinary products you can recommend?

8 Comments

  1. Thursday
    29/02/12 at 4:43

    These kinds of products always seem to be “fixing” a problem that doesn’t exist, just to make a buck. And as someone who wears skirts and dresses 95% of the time, and so don’t have pockets that often, I find my B cup bra holds a smart phone no problem…;-)

  2. UpliftMaximizationTechnician
    29/02/12 at 19:30

    Being a healthy G cup, I have stuffed a cellphone on one side and a mickey of vodka on the other. So handy for sneaking contraband into concerts and nightclubs, lol! That being said, that bra caddy looks absolutely absurd. My greatest as seen on TV peeve….the Ahhh Bra!!!! That thing is the devil’s handiwork and seems only good for taking cash out of the pockets of little old ladies looking for comfortable support. Which they won’t get from an Ah Bra. Hate that thing!!!

    • Lamp
      29/02/12 at 20:33

      Okay, I really want to party with you. You sound fabulous.

      • UpliftMaximizationTechnician
        01/03/12 at 19:43

        Well thank you! Lots of amazing ladies at this site! It’s really a fun and friendly place to participate…thanks to the lovely Treacle! :-)

  3. Scales
    01/03/12 at 19:58

    I love the idea of the Cleavage Caddy cause it will allow me to go hands free when I’m out and about. I hate carrying around a pocketbook. Based on your review, I’m going to buy one. You said it’s good for someone with a full bust so I guess it will work for me! Thanks!

  4. 02/03/12 at 5:48

    Loving the ‘Commandos’ ! Always wanted the freedom and subtle sexiness of walking around with no underwear on under my jeans, will certainly give this a try!

    Thanks for these reviews, however. Very useful indeed :)

  5. 03/03/12 at 20:09

    I seriously have ALWAYS been curious about these infomercial type products, so it’s incredible and wonderful that you satiated my curiosity with your “informercial test kitchen” :D

    I can honestly say I’ve never seen that last one, but how cool is that!? I’ve been using my bra as an extra holding place for years. LOL

  6. ashley
    18/07/12 at 21:40

    that bra caddy does sound interesting! I am always sticking things in my DD’s but the one thing I hate is that stuff/hands can make your bra lining dirty! That totally sounds like a nifty way to organize and keep clean!

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