Lingerie Test Kitchen: 5 Infomercial Products Reviewed
We’ve all seen the ads on TV claiming to improve our well being, make us more beautiful, simplify our lives, and basically transform us into shining beacons of perfection. But exactly how accurate are these claims?
Infomercials are known for hyping up products that we never knew we needed. Will my life really be improved if I call and order today? Can I really look like a supermodel/eliminate daily household chores/become more popular by purchasing these items?
In the name of curiosity I have chosen five lingerie inventions that have piqued my interest and decided to create my own test kitchen of sorts. Though different users will inevitably yield different experiences, here is a breakdown of my findings:
Product: Bare Lifts
Price/Where to Buy: $10 for a pack of 10/www.barelifts.com
Claim: To comfortably lift sagging breasts without a bra by using clear stickers to pick up the breast and affix it to the upper chest.
Initial Impression: I wasn’t sure this would be effective on my smaller non-sagging chest, so I decided to test these out on an agreeable D cup guinea pig.
Review: The initial application process can get a bit tricky with the multiple steps and strong adhesive backing. You may end up wasting one or two stickers in the process, but once applied correctly you will see a visible difference. While you may not notice a drastic lift, you should see an overall perkiness with less sag. However, at the end of an eight-hour test period, be forewarned that slipping may be possible and the adhesive may not hold up as well. The removal of the stickers was relatively painless, but there may be some soreness from the unnatural fold that creases the skin. Also, for breasts that need extra support (D cups and higher), you can use the Bra Lifts with your favorite bra for added support and coverage.
Pros: Comfortable to wear. Easy to remove.
Cons: Difficult to apply. Does not give a huge lift. Loses grip over time and may start slipping.
Overall Rating: 3 out of 5
Product: Strap Perfect
Price/Where to Buy: $19.99 for a pack of 18/www.strapperfect.com
Claim: To transform any bra into a racer back style in order to conceal unsightly bra straps under your favorite tops.
Initial Impression: I was happy that they came in three colors; however, these plastic loops look like they may be too hard and uncomfortable to wear against my bare back.
Review: The concealer clips were fairly easy to apply and you can use them on any bra that you want. Just slip your straps into the figure 8 opening and it automatically secures them in place. The clip also helps to lift the breasts and enhance cleavage since they are essentially pulling the straps together, making them much tighter. However, if you plan on wearing it for more then a couple of hours, I recommend using it on a bra that’s slightly oversized so the clips make it snugger on your body. If your bra is already tight-fitting the clips will only squeeze your breasts together more, causing the bra to fit even tighter and possibly rubbing or pinching in the wrong places. This also puts more pressure on the plastic clips and could cause them to break. Overall, they are relatively comfortable and get the job done in terms of concealing your straps under a tank top. Just make sure the back of your shirt is high enough to hide the clips.
Pros: Works well when worn with the right bra and top.
Cons: Can be uncomfortable and painful on tight-fitting bras. Looks unattractive if not concealed properly.
Overall Rating: 4 out of 5
Product: Cami Secret
Price/Where to Buy: $10 for a pack of 6 / www.camisecret.com
Claim: To layer under your low cut tops in order to transform them into a more appropriate and modest look.
Initial Impression: These faux camis remind me of a dickie that men used to wear under their tuxedos. It looks easy to wear, however I am not crazy about the lace trim at the top. Unfortunately, they do not offer basic colors without the lace trim.
Review: The mock camisoles are designed to be snapped onto your bra straps in the front and tucked into the neckline of your low-cut shirt. However, since there is nothing to secure the bottom of the fabric, it tends to bunch up and wrinkle as you move about. The adjustable snaps also fit best on straps that are about 9” apart, therefore smaller girls may be forced to wear the cami up high on their chest while girls with larger chests may have a harder time attaching the clips to fit a wider bra strap or fully covering the exposed cleavage area. In addition, the lace trim at the top tends to curl over and does not lay flat against the skin.
Pros: Comes in multiple colors.
Cons: Doesn’t lay flat or stay in place. Does not work as a one size fits all product. Cheaply made.
Overall Rating: 2 out of 5
Price/Where to Buy: $16 for a pack of 8 / www.gocommandos.com
Claim: To eliminate the need for underpants by offering comfort and protection in the form of a disposable patch which adheres directly onto your pants or jeans.
Initial Impression: The patches are made out of actual fabric and are a little off-putting at first glance. They also seem expensive so I would be hesitant to use these every day.
Review: The Commandos patches remind me of soft (and expensive) panty liners, however they are meant to be placed directly on your pants. Be sure to follow the directions for application and apply while on a flat surface before wearing. The unique shape ensures the patch stays put and fits nicely over the four inside seams. They are soft and comfortable, so it’s easy to forget that they are there and go about your day as usual. If you like the feel of going panty-less then this product is perfect for you.
Pros: Allows you to go without underwear while still feeling secure and protected. Comfortable & hygienic. Secure adhesive stays in place all day. Eliminates visible panty lines.
Cons: Can not be used as a panty liner (i.e. do not use during your period).
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5
Product: The Cleavage Caddy
Price/Where to Buy: $29.95 for 1 / www.cleavagecaddy.com
Claim: Allows you to carry personal belongings discretely tucked into the pouch that is then inserted in your bra.
Initial Impression: Sounds like a great way to go hands-free. The caddy claims to easily hold your keys, money, phone, and credit cards in a cute bra-shaped pouch with delicate lace trim.
Review: The Cleavage Caddy comes in two sizes – Medium (under 38D) and Large (over 38D). For my small chest the Medium was most appropriate; however, once I filled the pouches with just the bare necessities I had a hard time fitting the caddy into my bra. After a struggle I had securely fastened the caddy to my bra at the front waistband and proceeded to get dressed, This is when I realized how ridiculous I looked with bumps and lumps sticking out all over the place. The caddy is just not meant for smaller chested girls under a C cup. However for a larger sized bosom the bra caddy is a wonderful invention that will allow you a safe (and flirty) place for your valuables while not compromising the overall silhouette of your cleavage. Larger ladies can easily wear the caddy and will find it convenient for travel, working out or a night on the town.
Pros: Holds all of your necessities safely. Stays in place. No worries about slipping or losing your valuables.
Cons: Only useful for larger cup sizes C and above.
Overall Rating: 4 out of 5
The market is saturated with these seemingly ingenious inventions claiming to improve your life, however it’s impossible to try them all. If you are a sucker for infomercials like I am, I’d love to hear some of your reviews on similar products you have tested out. Have you had different experiences than I did or found any extraordinary products you can recommend?